Porter: My Completely Irrelevant, But Highly Anticipated Preseason Analysis

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You talkin’ to me?

As much as you guys love this, is as much I hate it. But I gotta give the people what they want.

This was our fourth auction and it was pretty buttoned up. No one finished with significant unused money and there weren’t many head-scratching buys (save Tavon Austin for $16).

Read ’em and weep, boys.

Porter

A-Robbed
Budget $200
1. (2) Kirk Cousins (Was – QB) $2
2. (14) Duke Johnson Jr. (Cle – RB) $17
3. (26) Jeremy Langford (Chi – RB) $17
4. (38) Donte Moncrief (Ind – WR) $11
5. (50) Golden Tate (Det – WR) $28
6. (62) Will Tye (NYG – TE) $1
7. (74) Alshon Jeffery (Chi – WR) $45
8. (86) Buffalo (Buf – DEF) $3
9. (98) Allen Robinson (Jax – WR) $54
10. (110) T.J. Yeldon (Jax – RB) $5
11. (122) Chris Thompson (Was – RB) $3
12. (134) Torrey Smith (SF – WR) $5
13. (146) Jerick McKinnon (Min – RB) $5
14. (158) Jermaine Kearse (Sea – WR) $1
15. (170) James Starks (GB – RB) $3

I broke Yahoo’s projection computer! I went WR heavy, loading up with what I think will be four top-20 WRs (Robinson, Jeffrey, Tate, and Moncrief). I obviously cannot start all four, but I’m not worried about that right now.

I think Kirk Cousins is for real at QB. I took a shot on some deep sleeper tight ends (Virgil Green, Will Tye), and have loaded up with pass-catching running backs with stand-alone value who may pop if the RB they share a backfield with goes down at any point.

Grade: A (BIASED!)

Strength: WR / Depth

Weakness: RB

X-Factor: Chris Thompson

Best value pick: T.J. Yeldon, $5

Mike Larose

Sandusky’s Showers
Budget $200
1. (1) Aaron Rodgers (GB – QB) $21
2. (13) DeMarco Murray (Ten – RB) $7
3. (25) Ezekiel Elliott (Dal – RB) $46
4. (37) Brandon Marshall (NYJ – WR) $43
5. (49) DeSean Jackson (Was – WR) $8
6. (61) Jimmy Graham (Sea – TE) $3
7. (73) Amari Cooper (Oak – WR) $42
8. (85) Carolina (Car – DEF) $2
9. (97) Jonathan Stewart (Car – RB) $14
10. (109) Derek Carr (Oak – QB) $3
11. (121) Vincent Jackson (TB – WR) $3
12. (133) Chris Ivory (Jax – RB) $5
13. (145) Jason Witten (Dal – TE) $1
14. (157) C.J. Spiller (NO – RB) $1
15. (169) Mike Wallace (Bal – WR) $1

I really like what Shmike did here. Solid lineup throughout, with a strong WR trio of Brandon Marshall, Amari Cooper, and DeSean Jackson.

Ezekiel Elliott is going to be a stud and potential TD machine in Dallas. And while I don’t love DeMarco Murray as his RB2, LaRose has Jonathan Stewart and Chris Ivory as potential replacements.

Grade: A-

Strength: Balanced

Weakness: TE

X-Factor: Jonathan Stewart

Best value pick: Vincent Jackson, $3

Phil

 

PhillipP’s Team
Budget $200
1. (3) Andy Dalton (Cin – QB) $1
2. (15) Jamaal Charles (KC – RB) $35
3. (27) Danny Woodhead (SD – RB) $14
4. (39) Kelvin Benjamin (Car – WR) $11
5. (51) Odell Beckham Jr. (NYG – WR) $60
6. (63) Jordan Reed (Was – TE) $30
7. (75) T.Y. Hilton (Ind – WR) $31
8. (87) Tampa Bay (TB – DEF) $2
9. (99) Corey Coleman (Cle – WR) $5
10. (111) Isaiah Crowell (Cle – RB) $2
11. (123) Antonio Gates (SD – TE) $4
12. (135) Tyler Boyd (Cin – WR) $1
13. (147) Javorius Allen (Bal – RB) $2
14. (159) Robert Woods (Buf – WR) $1
15. (171) Jamison Crowder (Was – WR) $1

Phil, who disappointingly paid with Venmo this year, also put together a nice draft. I don’t love Kelvin Benjamin as a WR3, but I do admit he will likely find the endzone.  I think Phil could have done a bit better at QB1 than Andy Dalton and I wouldn’t have bought a second TE (Antonio Gates) after spending $30 on Jordan Reed.

But other than that, Charles-Woodhead is a strong RB tandem and T.Y. Hilton-Odell is elite starting WR duo.

Grade: B-

Strength: RB

Weakness: QB

X-Factor: Tyler Boyd

Best value pick: Corey Coleman, $5

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Stan

StanisRAWLSv
Budget $200
1. (4) Robert Griffin III (Cle – QB) $1
2. (16) Thomas Rawls (Sea – RB) $11
3. (28) Adrian Peterson (Min – RB) $43
4. (40) DeAndre Hopkins (Hou – WR) $56
5. (52) Dez Bryant (Dal – WR) $47
6. (64) Julius Thomas (Jax – TE) $3
7. (76) Christine Michael (Sea – RB) $6
8. (88) New England (NE – DEF) $2
9. (100) Ben Roethlisberger (Pit – QB) $4
10. (112) Larry Fitzgerald (Ari – WR) $7
11. (124) Sterling Shepard (NYG – WR) $5
12. (136) Dorial Green-Beckham (Phi – WR) $2
13. (148) Jay Ajayi (Mia – RB) $4
14. (160) Darren Sproles (Phi – RB) $5
15. (172) Laquon Treadwell (Min – WR) $4

It was the talk of the two-hour pre draft show: Stan decided to keep Thomas Rawls ($11) over Allen Robinson ($31, drafted for $56). It’s a move Stan admittedly had some doubts over.

However, the StanisRawlslav squad recovered nicely.

Dez-Nuk at 1-2 WR is as strong as it gets. And while I’m not a fan of AP this year, $43 for arguably the game’s best player is hard to argue with.

I was a bit down on Big Ben this year as well, with Martavis Bryant suspended for the season, Ladarius Green out indefinitely with migraine issues, Le’Veon Bell out three weeks, and Sammie Coates struggling in preseason.

I also don’t love his bench players, especially not “JJ AJ” lowering his overall grade.

Grade: C+

Strength: Starting WR

Weakness: Depth

X-Factor: Larry Fitzgerald, $7

Best value pick: Julius Thomas, $3

 

Scott

Kret
Budget $200
1. (5) Tom Brady (NE – QB) $10
2. (17) Le’Veon Bell (Pit – RB) $49
3. (29) Frank Gore (Ind – RB) $8
4. (41) Josh Gordon (Cle – WR) $11
5. (53) Julian Edelman (NE – WR) $24
6. (65) Doug Baldwin (Sea – WR) $16
7. (77) Rob Gronkowski (NE – TE) $50
8. (89) Philadelphia (Phi – DEF) $1
9. (101) Stefon Diggs (Min – WR) $5
10. (113) Steve Smith Sr. (Bal – WR) $4
11. (125) LeGarrette Blount (NE – RB) $6
12. (137) Justin Forsett (Bal – RB) $7
13. (149) Blake Bortles (Jax – QB) $2
14. (161) Robert Turbin (Ind – RB) $1
15. (173) James White (NE – RB) $6

The “All Suspended” Squad.

Do I like what Scott did? No. Would I have done it? No. Do I respect it? Certainly.

With Brady, Gordon, and Bell out for the first 3 weeks, Scott could easily find himself 0-3 and climbing out of a hole. I also dislike his bench, a lot. Justin Forsett is old and was just cut and then re-signed, Robert Turbin is a handcuff with limited upside, and Steve Smith is really old.

However, Scott did find some nice value at WR and RB with Baldwin ($16), Diggs ($5), and Gore ($8).

Grade: C-

Strength: Upside

Weakness: Bench

X-Factor: Josh Gordon, $11

Best value pick: Stefon Diggs, $5

 

Linto

LTs Little Ballers
Budget $200
1. (6) Andrew Luck (Ind – QB) $16
2. (18) Devonta Freeman (Atl – RB) $17
3. (30) Ryan Mathews (Phi – RB) $13
4. (42) A.J. Green (Cin – WR) $56
5. (54) Demaryius Thomas (Den – WR) $31
6. (66) Travis Kelce (KC – TE) $8
7. (78) Jordan Matthews (Phi – WR) $18
8. (90) Seattle (Sea – DEF) $2
9. (102) Jeremy Hill (Cin – RB) $15
10. (114) Zach Ertz (Phi – TE) $2
11. (126) Allen Hurns (Jax – WR) $8
12. (138) Tevin Coleman (Atl – RB) $11
13. (150) Marcus Mariota (Ten – QB) $1
14. (162) Eli Rogers (Pit – WR) $1
15. (174) Josh Doctson (Was – WR) $1

I’m not 100-percent sure he even knew what the fuck he was doing, but this may be Linto’s best draft ever.

Not a huge Jordan Matthews as a WR3 fan, but Allen Hurns should be serviceable if needed. Other than that, I’m impressed Lintbarmus. I’m impressed.

Love Tevin Coleman as an upside play this year, although $11 is a bit steep. And Josh Doctson for $1 is excellent upside with keeper potential.

And he did it all while still drafting THREE Eagles’ players! How in the world?

Grade: A-

Strength: RB

Weakness: Too many Eagles

X-Factor: Josh Gordon, $11

Best value pick: Stefon Diggs, $5

 

Damien

AP Wilmer
Budget $200
1. (7) Russell Wilson (Sea – QB) $15
2. (19) Todd Gurley (LA – RB) $17
3. (31) Carlos Hyde (SF – RB) $22
4. (43) Jordy Nelson (GB – WR) $50
5. (55) Emmanuel Sanders (Den – WR) $25
6. (67) Jared Cook (GB – TE) $5
7. (79) Matt Jones (Was – RB) $12
8. (91) Denver (Den – DEF) $3
9. (103) Arian Foster (Mia – RB) $14
10. (115) Tavon Austin (LA – WR) $16
11. (127) Michael Crabtree (Oak – WR) $14
12. (139) Reggie Bush (Buf – RB) $4
13. (151) Eric Ebron (Det – TE) $1
14. (163) Eli Manning (NYG – QB) $1
15. (175) Chris Hogan (NE – WR) $1

Damien snagged a legitimate star at every position (Russell Wilson, Todd Gurley, and Jordy Nelson) which makes his team dangerous on any given week. Wilson has a serious chance to be the best player in Fantasy Football since his running backs stink for the first time in his career (see: Rawls, Thomas or Borodyansky, Stan) and he’s going to throw a ton.

I love Emmanuel Sanders for $25 and Arian Foster for $14, but I do not love Michael Crabtree for $14, Carlos Hyde for $22, or Tavon Austin for $16.

Grade: C-

Strength: QB

Weakness: Bench

X-Factor: Arian Foster, $14

Best value pick: Matt Jones, $12

 

Goldberg

goldbergs gorillas
Budget $200
1. (8) Cam Newton (Car – QB) $11
2. (20) Matt Forte (NYJ – RB) $28
3. (32) Latavius Murray (Oak – RB) $21
4. (44) Julio Jones (Atl – WR) $58
5. (56) Willie Snead (NO – WR) $9
6. (68) Delanie Walker (Ten – TE) $9
7. (80) Jeremy Maclin (KC – WR) $18
8. (92) Kansas City (KC – DEF) $6
9. (104) John Brown (Ari – WR) $6
10. (116) Devin Funchess (Car – WR) $7
11. (128) Travis Benjamin (SD – WR) $3
12. (140) DeAngelo Williams (Pit – RB) $5
13. (152) Spencer Ware (KC – RB) $11
14. (164) Tyler Eifert (Cin – TE) $1
15. (176) DeAndre Washington (Oak – RB) $7

Eh.

I think Mike Gold did some nice work with his bench guys, in acquiring high upside players for cheap like DeAndre Washington, Devin Funchess, and Tyler Eifert.

At RB1, I don’t love an aging Matt Forte in a time share with Bilal Powell, and especially not for $28. Willie Snead for $9 is fine, but not sure he’ll be a reliable starter.

Grade: Eh

Strength: Bench

Weakness: Starting RB

X-Factor: DeAndre Washington, $7

Best value pick: John Brown, $6

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Goodman

A.Goodman
Budget $200
1. (9) Tyrod Taylor (Buf – QB) $4
2. (21) LeSean McCoy (Buf – RB) $39
3. (33) Giovani Bernard (Cin – RB) $17
4. (45) Jarvis Landry (Mia – WR) $33
5. (57) Randall Cobb (GB – WR) $36
6. (69) Coby Fleener (NO – TE) $12
7. (81) Pierre Garcon (Was – WR) $3
8. (93) New York (NYJ – DEF) $2
9. (105) Melvin Gordon (SD – RB) $15
10. (117) Devontae Booker (Den – RB) $5
11. (129) Derrick Henry (Ten – RB) $7
12. (141) Kamar Aiken (Bal – WR) $7
13. (153) Markus Wheaton (Pit – WR) $10
14. (165) Michael Thomas (NO – WR) $5
15. (177) Kevin White (Chi – WR) $5

Interestingly, Goodman remained patient. Very patience. Maybe too patient? Or, maybe not.

LeSean McCoy for $39 was a nice start, but a lack of a dominant receiver in a PPR league could haunt Goodman all season long. Nevertheless, a strong RB corps of McCoy, Gio, and Melvin Gordon plus a deep bench could enthrall Goodman to some real fantasy success.

Tyrod Taylor has top-5 QB upside, too.

Grade: B-

Strength: RB

Weakness: Elite WRs

X-Factor: Kevin White, $5

Best value pick: Melvin Gordon, $15

 

Jason

GoodmansGreatGuesses
Budget $200
1. (10) Philip Rivers (SD – QB) $4
2. (22) Mark Ingram (NO – RB) $40
3. (34) Doug Martin (TB – RB) $26
4. (46) Keenan Allen (SD – WR) $41
5. (58) Michael Floyd (Ari – WR) $17
6. (70) Greg Olsen (Car – TE) $15
7. (82) DeVante Parker (Mia – WR) $5
8. (94) Los Angeles (LA – DEF) $1
9. (106) Rashad Jennings (NYG – RB) $12
10. (118) Martellus Bennett (NE – TE) $7
11. (130) Tyler Lockett (Sea – WR) $5
12. (142) Ameer Abdullah (Det – RB) $16
13. (154) Mohamed Sanu (Atl – WR) $5
14. (166) Rishard Matthews (Ten – WR) $5
15. (178) Matthew Stafford (Det – QB) $1

I don’t love Jason’s draft this year.

Michael Floyd has upside, but I like him a flex rather than a WR2 — and he’ll probably disappoint owners for a third straight year, if we’re being honest here. DeVante Parker has upside as well, but again, I like him as a stash-and-see type WR rather than a WR3. Not in love with Doug Martin, either.

Jason’s bench upside is intriguing with Tyler Lockett, Rashad Jennings, Ameer Abdullah, and Rishard Matthews.

Grade: D+

Strength: Bench upside

Weakness: WR

X-Factor: Michael Floyd, $17

Best value pick: DeVante Parker, $5

 

Snake

Snake
Budget $200
1. (11) Drew Brees (NO – QB) $10
2. (23) Lamar Miller (Hou – RB) $52
3. (35) C.J. Anderson (Den – RB) $30
4. (47) Marvin Jones Jr. (Det – WR) $12
5. (59) Sammy Watkins (Buf – WR) $28
6. (71) Terrance West (Bal – RB) $1
7. (83) Mike Evans (TB – WR) $44
8. (95) Arizona (Ari – DEF) $2
9. (107) Charles Sims (TB – RB) $9
10. (119) Tajae Sharpe (Ten – WR) $2
11. (131) Phillip Dorsett (Ind – WR) $3
12. (143) Paul Perkins (NYG – RB) $1
13. (155) Gary Barnidge (Cle – TE) $3
14. (167) Theo Riddick (Det – RB) $2
15. (179) Shane Vereen (NYG – RB) $1

Another solid team for the Snake.

If I had to complain about something it would be his starting RBs with C.J. Anderson and Lamar Miller, just because I’m personally not that high on either. However, I do like Charles Sims and Theo Riddick as PPR-plus backups with upside.

Grade: A-

Strength: Solid throughout

Weakness: RB2

X-Factor: Marvin Jones, $12

Best value pick: Phillip Dorsett, $3

 

Tepel

Tepel
Budget $200
1. (12) Carson Palmer (Ari – QB) $3
2. (24) David Johnson (Ari – RB) $13
3. (36) Eddie Lacy (GB – RB) $40
4. (48) Antonio Brown (Pit – WR) $63
5. (60) Eric Decker (NYJ – WR) $22
6. (72) Dwayne Allen (Ind – TE) $3
7. (84) Brandin Cooks (NO – WR) $38
8. (96) Houston (Hou – DEF) $1
9. (108) Alfred Morris (Dal – RB) $2
10. (120) Bilal Powell (NYJ – RB) $7
11. (132) Will Fuller (Hou – WR) $4
12. (144) Anquan Boldin (Det – WR) $1
13. (156) Shaun Draughn (SF – RB) $1
14. (168) C.J. Prosise (Sea – RB) $1
15. (180) Chris Johnson (Ari – RB) $1

With David Johnson for $13, it’d be near impossible for Tepel not to put together a solid starting lineup. And he did, adding Antonio Brown, Brandin Cooks, and Eric Decker to form a formidable WR trio.

However, I didn’t like his decision to go after Eddie Lacy for $40, something that may cost him. Also, his bench — sans Bilal Powell — could be troublesome.

He can’t win again…can he?!

Grade: B-

Strength: WRs

Weakness: Bench

X-Factor: Eddie Lacy, $40

Best value pick: Eric Decker, $22

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